Unplanned Pregnancy

As the saying goes, 'nothing is absolutely right or wrong, it is the circumstances'.

There are times when in spite all precautions you realize that you have conceived. For some rather most of the new couples it is news to rejoice. But what if the couple is not ready for the child and the responsibilities? All the happiness is converted to worry, shock and fear. It is entirely their life which they have planned together and if they are not ready for a child, it is their personal decision. An unplanned pregnancy is not welcome and hence traumatic.

What if you have conceived?

Before you decide to visit the doctor, you should first confirm by doing a pregnancy test, the kits are available in the market. Get one, follow the instructions and then if the test is positive you can go visit your doctor. Do not panic, although it is easier said than done. Give it a thought, discuss it with your husband and decide. There can be many questions:

• Are you both ready to take up the responsibility?
• Are you ready to be a mother?
• Do you earn enough to be able to have a decent livelihood?
• Will it affect your married life?
• Can you cope up with demands as a parent?
• Can you handle the situation?

The final decision

This is a discussion which has to be taken just by the two of you. Discuss the pros and cons. There are families where the couple is pressurized to have a child as they want an heir, and there are others who want their daughter-in –law to work so they opt for a termination. As it is your life it has to be your decision, or else it will give rise to frustration, guilt, anger and confusion. If you decide to continue this unplanned pregnancy under pressure it will affect both the child and the mother. But if you decide to terminate it, you might have mixed feelings. There will be remorse, guilt and depression on one hand, but there will also be a sense of relief. Although if you have acted against the wishes of your elders, you might be in for sly and disturbing remarks, but it is best to ignore them and stick to your stand because you have to be eventually ready as it is you who will have to carry the child in your womb for 9 months and your husband has to shoulder all the responsibilities.

The positive side

On the other hand if you want the child, then you have other issues to think about. If it is an arranged marriage, you are still exploring each other, getting to know each other. You will be sceptical as to will you be able to play the role of a mother, wife and a daughter-in-law at the same time? But if you think positively, this can also turn out to be an opportunity for you to come closer to each other as you read more about parenting the child. As you plan for your future and discuss everything that worries you will bond and you never know this unplanned pregnancy in your case may turn out to be a boon?

Controversial pregnancy

But what if this unplanned pregnancy is the result of a rape? Or if the woman is suffering from some fatal disease or she is unable to continue the pregnancy, due to financial, mental or physical reasons. And worst of all, what if it is a teenage pregnancy?

It is easy to get a baby, but bringing up one is no child play. Conceiving is just a stepping stone on the long and tedious journey as a parent.

The choices

A woman is left with very few choices if she is faced with an unplanned pregnancy. If she is single and bold enough she might want to bring up the child and face everything that came her way, or she may give it away to someone after birth, or she might get her pregnancy terminated. Although bringing up a baby single handed as an unwed mother is not a wise decision as it has a social stigma attached to it. Such kids face a lot of trauma in society.

If the women decide to give birth to the child and then give it away do not realise that it is not easy to part with your child. A child which is your flesh and blood, a child you have nurtured in your womb for 9 months. It is a bond which cannot be broken so easily.

The decision to terminate the child in such cases is the only sensible decision one can take however traumatic it may sound. Because you just don’t have to give it life and bring it in this world, you have to ensure that you give him a quality life.

This is a very debatable topic which has been discussed since decades, whether abortions should be legalised? And the question still remains unanswered. As i said earlier nothing is right or wrong it is all circumstantial.